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[29 May 2005|09:22pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Prom was a day/night filled with awesomeness
Sooo many prom appointments!
But they were so fun with chels
Makeup- Stila
Hair- Ralphs
Nails- K&K
Then we were finnnnally ready
Last year doesnt even nearly compare
"A" group OWNED prom <3
100+Collapse )

15 ♥ Lezzies

Ill be there for youuuuuuu : ) [06 May 2004|10:16pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

Friends is over :(
Im getting chills just thinking about it again.
Its been a good run, and it couldnt of ended more perfectly♥

6 ♥ Lezzies

Yeeeeeeees! [01 May 2004|05:36pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Saturday, May 22nd
SOMA Presents...
Letter Kills
The Strangers Six
Parker Theory
Inner Limit

Offset is finally back!!!!
Amanda, Ashley we have to go ♥

Eek im sick : ( A saturday night of mellowness and Love Actually it seems. Im extra tired and fine with staying home tonight.

6 ♥ Lezzies

[30 Apr 2004|07:44pm]
[ mood | scared ]

Ugh.. I feel so bad about all these things and im just really upset. I wouldnt even know where to begin.
And im not going to begin, especially on here. But I dont know what to do I feel like I should have people to talk to but its like they're not even there. They're to busy in their own lives and I dont want to bring them down or cause any trouble for them. I think that im too nice, I just keep a lot of things in to accomadate everyone elses needs, cause I feel like telling them any of my problems would just be a bummer.
It just sucks, feeling like you dont have some of the people to talk to that make you smile and happy, that you feel that you should have the most.
By the way thats not just one specific person but I guess like im sure youll know who you are if you feel you havent particularly been there.
So all that sucked with the exception I had a nice talk with my dad that made me temporarily happy about some stuff and helped me put things into perspective. It was good to talk.. and to him : )

Omg.. I wish I could know you are ok, although im sure your not.

13 ♥ Lezzies

Put it in a ziplock bag [26 Apr 2004|07:59pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

School.. has become a hobby, im never there.

I hate knowing the signs...
And wondering knowing whats being thought
It makes me sad
Hope Im wrong this time.

Surrender to boredomCollapse )

12 ♥ Lezzies

[25 Apr 2004|04:47pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

Side note: New Sugarcult kicks SOOOOO much ass. Omg Its been too long for them Im so glad they're back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amanda came over Friday which was extra fun. A little El Zarape, little "OG" Good Charlotte for the.. road trip hah. A few glitches in the day but it was all good. I met Melissa's bf and the infamous Steven along with some Jesus freak and Samoin (sp?) kid haha. Intersante.
Went to Katie's prom last night it was extra fun. All of her friends are really nice. Ill post pics later I dont feel like it right now.
I got into ballet 5-6! Holy crap no one knows how excited I am : ) It's all finally paid off!
So mucho good weekend.

I hope everything is still ok.. there has been a lack of communication :\

Shake ya ass watch ya selfCollapse )

5 ♥ Lezzies

[20 Apr 2004|10:38pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Fun day
Finally got to see my love. Aww and on his birthday. Ahh I missed him so freaking much. Im extra happy : )
Good times today with those crazy kids haha.
Audtions today went well. Hope I get in and get a good luck of the draw.
Im so tired from dance its crazy.


♥ Lezzies

[18 Apr 2004|12:19am]
[ mood | weird ]

Got my John Mayer tickets : )
chilled with Katie : )
My sister's birthday party is tomorrow heh fun stuff.
Finally saw school of Rock, nice!
You know.. just now I had a long paragraph about this and that, but thats gone.
I miss good ol' Kaplan. It's easy to smile around that kid all the time. It was always fun times with him and our dragged on jokes.
I think no matter how much time we spend apart, we will just always be best friends. I need to hang out with him sometime soon.

EDIT: I Love him, I need him, I miss him.
Don't doubt anything ever again, even if I give you reason to.
always hon : )

7 ♥ Lezzies

[16 Apr 2004|08:44pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

So Chad was supposed to come up today but craziness with my damn wisdom teeth changed my whole schedule for today. GAY.
So due to gay wisdom teeth im sitting here doing nothing on this friday while my girls are at the movies and my boyfriend is.. I dont know, and im jealous of all them bitches : ( Ohhhh well.
Love Song by 311 really makes me think of Chad : )
This weekend seems so full of events for me.
Sunday I might be going to the offspring concert with Katie that should be fun.
Not much to say.. Im gonna go watch a movie.

5 ♥ Lezzies

[13 Apr 2004|04:41pm]
[ mood | Happy ]

Im a happy girl because I jessica Hoke have a tuna sandwhich : )
...yes everyone ahah a tuna sandwhich.
And I have jelly beans.. Im a pretty happy kid right about now.
EDIT: My icon is no longer shitty its extra cool!
I have a shitty icon but its temporary I just really wanted a new one.
I want to go to Dashboard on June 6th... and Im thinking I will. Xtina, Chelsea? My emo girls? Anyone?
I look like a chipmunk today yes i know.. but it was way better in comparison to how I looked this weekend.. eek that was like.. chipmunks attack.
I realized I never posted my wench pics! So I will do so.
Rooney, is a good band. I wish I had seen the Strokes when they last came : ( At least I've seen them once before.

Now Im shakinCollapse )

16 ♥ Lezzies

I'll be chill, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier [11 Apr 2004|03:55pm]
[ mood | loved ]

My wisdom teeth are gone... hurts like a bitch and I look like a chipmunk but of course I have vicadin : )
Not going to school tomorrow cause im too drowsy and nauscious.
Carlsbad is gay cause everything is closed on easter including whole malls... so no ae jeans today : ( But Carlsbad outlet was nice and open! Unlike everyone else I had a good easter with the family ♥
And.. I love Chad : )I hope he wasnt just getting my hopes up telling me he was actually coming up to see me, cause it made my day ♥

my hopes are so high your kiss might kill meCollapse )

20 ♥ Lezzies

I've gotten used to missing him [07 Apr 2004|02:10pm]
[ mood | Chill ]

Edit: The layout link now goes to my layout : )
Check out my New --> layout
Chels and I worked together to make my journal pretty : )

Things have been good lately. No complaints at all. I've been hangning with Katie a lot. Met some Oceanside people which was fun.
Nothing really comepletely note worthy has happened. Ive just had a good srping break so far.
Tomorrow im hanging with my girls and then dance and Xtina coming home with me
Getting new dance tights today yay
I think Im changing... for the good definitly like becoming more chill about things, not freaking out, not over analyzing, stuff like that. I think because last week I decided im done with drama, creating it, being in it, seeing it, I'm just done. Im done talking shit and having shit talked about me. So all that definitly helped me to calm down. Im going to try and become as drama free as I can be, which as everyone who knows me would be a huge step up. Cause man.. I talk shit.. maybe Ill just reduce it not completely take it away : )

16 ♥ Lezzies

[04 Apr 2004|01:59pm]
[ mood | amused ]

It's ladies night all the girls drink for freeCollapse )

7 ♥ Lezzies

[03 Apr 2004|02:02pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

I was gonna be so happy today that I was going to actually see Chad. I havent seen him in 3 weeks. And to my disappointment yet another let down. Im really pissed right now not at him or anyone in particular just at the situation in general. Its yet another weekend that we plan to do something and it falls through. I don't really know what to do about it. And I hate that I feel helpless. I hate that Chad doesnt have a damn car anymore. I hate that from what I head today I dont think Ill be getting my license till about october. So what are we supposed to do till then? God I hate this. I hate that like he'll find something to do and I know it will be something near his house so he's able to but like it's just annoying that the time he's out he could of been with me. And it all started cause his dad founf them. Seems like everything goes back to that. Yeah.. I just really dont know what to do.
In other news it's chels' birthday! And tonight we'll be at allegras : ) Hopefully that will put me in a better mood. Im pretty sure it will so yay. I hope in a bit Ill forget all this shit.
Behind the wheel was today and yay it went really well : )




8 ♥ Lezzies

[24 Mar 2004|10:48pm]
I love you Chad Kerouac : )
17 ♥ Lezzies

I missed him dammit [23 Mar 2004|03:57pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I booked my behind the wheel!! YES : ) And am happy to finally belive everyone when they say that you get your license 6 months from the day your permit is issued not valid : ) So july 2nd here I come!
I think this summer is going to be really great in all aspects, espceially the parts when im driving. I only have the month of June where im not driving and half of it we're in school.
Im really excited for the blink concert : ) And when the blink concert comes around it means like a week until my license! And once more I realized yesterday while talking about the Warped Tour that it was July 6th so if I wanted to I could drive my damn self! Except screw that. But if I wanted to I could and thats what counts.
I've been sick but now I think im finally better. I need to get my english done. Im sorry Amanda for bailing on the dance this week I wouldnt of been much help bringing my sick ass to school heh : )

Don't leave.. we're too good together and you know it, thats why I think you'll wait it all out I know I will : )

10 ♥ Lezzies

Im at a bad place right now.. [21 Mar 2004|09:25pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well I had a much better weekend then I thought I would of.
Went to Dance... pretty gay cause they're practicing for the dance convention that I wont even be at. Then went shopping with my mom. That was fun.
Katie came over last night of course always a good time. Its crazy how much I see her now : )
Today didnt go exactly as I thought it would... I wanted to hang out with Chad. But I guess something was wrong with his car or something I dont know. I was really disappointed but he didnt really seem like that so I was like whateva. But I ended up going with my mom and her friend to go try on wedding dresses. Which was so cute. I had fun : )

I think I should start being like him.. not caring that much. Im happy that we're together... Maybe I should stop expressing my feelings as much... it doesnt get me anywhere except disappointed cause he doesnt seem to care. Well I guess his intentions are good and I know he still loves me for sure. But maybe I should seriously just stop caring. I dont know... then who would?

12 ♥ Lezzies

I cant stand how much I miss him [19 Mar 2004|07:06pm]
[ mood | sore ]

EDIT: I did choose the wrong time to be loving... I dont think he would care if he read this entry

I want to feel as loved as I did the other night when we talked...
I want to feel missed...
I want to know he misses me as much as i miss him, I want him to call me just to tell me he loves me just so I know. Just so I can say man I really do love that boy and he loves me too : ) I need that tonight for some reason. It wont happen.. I know it.. but it would be really great if it did it would just make me so much happier. It would make me feel so loved. Just so I could hear it for the day.
I love him so much and I want him to know that. He's one of my best friends and I dont know what I'd do without him. I wish right now I could tell him that. He's right.. we will stay together for a long time I know it.. he knows it. I love that.
Yeah... that would be super neat if he called just to tell me he loves me : )

... I wonder if this is one of those times I choose a really bad time to be really loving?

2 ♥ Lezzies

Bake it in cake for me [18 Mar 2004|08:51pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I need some damn sleep.
Me, Dominique, and Amanda have a very cute Toxic dance so be jealous biznatches!
I had this philosophical conversation with my dad today on the car ride home. It was interesting and good. After we got home it was pizza and Smallville a good combination I must say.
I want tomorrow night to come very quickly and heh you may be thinking oh cause I have plans. But no I made no plans for tomorrow night cause all I want to do is get my sleep on.
Hopefully at some point this weekend, maybe sunday Ill see Chad cause I miss him way too much. We had a good conversation last night : )I love him so much : ) He really is the best thing for me that has happened to me.. everything I just love him. And love how reassured and confident he gets about our relationship it makes me extra happy : )

Man.. sometimes im just truly emo. I was listening to Brand New who is already emo enough and skipped to every acoustic song they have. Xtina and I watched a dashboard performance for some of the afternoon... EMO : ) And ive become obsessed with The Early November. Well I guess now that Ive admitted this anything that someone was gonna tell me cant now.. cause im emo : )

5 ♥ Lezzies

[15 Mar 2004|08:24pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

The weekend was good and eventful. Im the world's worst bowler.
I've had these.. self-realizations the past few days. That pretty much Chad has helped me to achieve.
I am:
1. A weak person that cant stand up for herself
2. An over analyzer to the max
3. Too argumentative and wont let things go
4. Easily offended
5.Easily walked all over (by certain people)
I dont really know what to do about these things... or how to go about changing them. But I really do want to change them. I feel I'd become a better person. That maybe Ill be more enjoyable to be around. I know that Chad for sure would enjoy that I change those things, I think he might be fed up with them. And the last thing I want is Chad to be fed up with me. But I am too with myself and who I am. Bottom line I really do wanna change for other people and myself a lot. I just need to figure out how.

...I hate hearing him go off on the bad things about our relationship and what can I say to them? All I can do is sit there and listen to everything he hates about it.. well at least in the end he says that despite everything he loves me. Thats all that matters to me

26 ♥ Lezzies

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